Quit your job
Take the money and run
As far as you can get.
I mean far away
Not this hour-distance dance
with proximity, she is a deceitful partner
Give me a cup of hot coffee please
Something for this headache
I got a pretty raw deal
Everyone says God doesn’t want to hurt me
Oh? Damage done.
I will forever be undoing what was done
Bleeding out my own sweat
into the cursed ground
as if it makes a lick of difference
to anyone at all, even me?
That was my mistake
My curse is caring
Find me a pill to turn off this pesky genetic expression
And I’ll show you a new creature
I’ll show you how to live a life.
Another year has passed
I now straddle 30 and 40 equally
nothing ahead, nothing behind
Only darkness and more weight
to carry in each direction to infinity
Forwards, backwards, and upside down.
I am being forced home
To confront problems that only affect me
A hard blow, but necessary to admit:
My father doesn’t remember what he did
because he doesn’t care.
My mother doesn’t care so she doesn’t remember
How long must I circle the walls
and shout and blow trumpets
before the truth brings them down?
I imagine a hospital bed in the kitchen
There are flowers everywhere
Scattered all over the floor
In pots and baskets
Don’t call me when it hurts.
It is already too late.