Too Late

Quit your job 

Take the money and run 

As far as you can get.

I mean far away 

Not this hour-distance dance 

with proximity, she is a deceitful partner 

Give me a cup of hot coffee please

Something for this headache

I got a pretty raw deal 

Everyone says God doesn’t want to hurt me 

Oh? Damage done. 

I will forever be undoing what was done 

Bleeding out my own sweat 

into the cursed ground

as if it makes a lick of difference 

to anyone at all, even me?

That was my mistake 

My curse is caring 

Find me a pill to turn off this pesky genetic expression

And I’ll show you a new creature

I’ll show you how to live a life. 

Another year has passed

I now straddle 30 and 40 equally

nothing ahead, nothing behind 

Only darkness and more weight 

to carry in each direction to infinity

Forwards, backwards, and upside down. 

I am being forced home 

To confront problems that only affect me 

A hard blow, but necessary to admit:

My father doesn’t remember what he did 

because he doesn’t care.

My mother doesn’t care so she doesn’t remember

How long must I circle the walls 

and shout and blow trumpets 

before the truth brings them down?

I imagine a hospital bed in the kitchen  

There are flowers everywhere 

Scattered all over the floor

In pots and baskets 

Don’t call me when it hurts. 

It is already too late.