Whole
Mom,
I love you.
I’m sorry we don’t get along better.
Why have you always been so far away?
I need you.
I need your kindness and affection.
I need your encouragements and reassurances.
I need you to tell me everything is okay and mean it.
I need you to fight for me, not against me.
I want to know you.
I want to know why you’ve always been so quick to judge, to turn away.
Can you change?
Do you even want to?
I love you, despite.
I love you, even though.
Does it hurt? (Your rejection stabs its reminder into my heart every minute of the day.)
Jab, cross, uppercut.
The same blows now as then, only invisible.
Invincible (the daughter you did not raise)
Lovable (the daughter you did not love)
Whole (the daughter you shattered).
